fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize