I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
