I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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