Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
