The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
