i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
