Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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