Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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