2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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