How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
