Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
