Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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