i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Congratulations! We have a period
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