If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
