Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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