OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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