I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
