Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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