I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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