i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
