i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize