she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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