No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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