Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
do herpes really smell.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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