i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
