If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
