He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
