Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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