HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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