it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
