I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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