Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Randomize
