You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
