I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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