She announced her abortion via fbk
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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