So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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