Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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