Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
