This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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