morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
