We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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