I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
