also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
