Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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