I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
my poor anus
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