I wish I could teleport
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
