bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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