Your dad touched me again.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
