Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
