If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
