I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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