I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
