Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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