shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
