Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
