you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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