Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
