he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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