Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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