i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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