Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.

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(541): View more from Oregon

at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.

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(510): View more from California

It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.

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(+52): View more from Mexico

she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.

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