You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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