Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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