i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize