I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
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Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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