i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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