Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
