I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
