I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well I just put wine in my tea
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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