Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
well you can't waste a boner
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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